School starts tomorrow. The budget wasn’t passed and a class was eliminated in each grade, meaning class size is slightly larger this year. Apparently there won’t be a second to spare, not even to sharpen a pencil. So here I sit, sharpening 24 Ticonderoga #2 pencils, as per the official school supplies list. I suppose…
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[The facts in this post come from today’s edition of the New York Post.] The artist (not what I call him), Andres Serrano, who brought us Piss Christ, a crucifix thrown into a backlit jar of the artist’s urine, is back with a new exhibit. This time it’s “Shit: An Investigation.” Yes, you heard that…
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I’m back from a family camping vacation. Danny and Jon successfully separated me from Inked-In for five days. Our trip started out just fine, aside from the red bandana fuzz in my mouth. (Okay, when I said they successfully separated me from Inked-In, there was a bit of a scuffle and a gag was involved.)…
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Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have enough pet peeves to open a pet shop. Among them: Tissues that have tiny dust particles in them that make you sneeze. Why can’t they make them out of the same stuff they use for toilet paper? (I once worked with a woman who swore…
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My eight-year-old son is a huge Family Feud fan and for the past few weeks he has been pestering me to find him the theme song from the John O’Hurley version of the show. We sat down together and started searching the internet. One site seemed promising and it had the McAfee Site Security green…
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Many moons ago, I was a Pre-Med student at Washington University in St. Louis sitting wide-eyed in an organic chemistry class trying to process a list of rules when the professor broke out into a list of exceptions to the rules. As a bit of drool dribbled from my open mouth (think Edvard Munch’s “The…
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