WordPress, Search Engine Terms, and a Constipated Baby

22 responses

As a technical writer, I enjoy reading documentation. The WordPress people do a good job explaining options and functionality. However, I’m having a difficult time finding an answer to a question about search engine terms.

“Search Engine Terms” is one of the features on the Stats page. According to the WordPress documentation, it lists terms that people entered in search engines to locate your blog.

So, can someone explain how the search terms “my baby is constipated what can I do” brought someone to my blog? We talk about a lot of odd things here, I know, but I don’t think I’ve covered poop or lack thereof. Yet. 😉

Constipated baby utters his first words.

Desperate Mother, I wish I could help you, but having breastfed my baby, I never had to deal with constipation issues. The poops of breastfed babies are soft and orange…kind of like, wait for it, pumpkin puree. (Sorry, Charles).

However, let me point you to Amazon.com where you can buy the Kindle version of my novel The Benefactor. You will undoubtedly be up many a long night with your wailing child. What better way to pass the time than with a romantic suspense novel? You remember what romance is, right? Hmmm, probably not. Most likely the only suspense in your life right now is wondering when romance will return to your life…and when that damn kid is gonna poop.

Desperate Mother, rest assured it gets easier. I promise.


22 thoughts on “WordPress, Search Engine Terms, and a Constipated Baby

  1. Ha! Yes, I’d like to know how some of those searches come to my blog, too! Better yet, I’d like to know why some people search those terms! Maybe I really don’t want to know!

  2. Your right you don’t want to know. After mine was hit with spam I got a long explanation as to why that happens. They are doing their best to stop it but in many ways its an impossible task.

  3. It’s amazing that you can carefully choose keywords and you get blog hits on words that appear nowhere in your text, right? I think you’ve discovered why there are countless self-professed SEO experts out there! Anyone can be an expert because there is no such thing. You’re so smart, Margaret! I think everyone should read your book. They’ll love it. I have good news 😉 I don’t know if Patch.com is by you yet, but they’re growing quite large here. It’s basically an online community newspaper/magazine and I signed the contract a few days ago for my own weekly column a la Erma Bombeck. (that explains my lack of recent blog posts). We’ll have to go on autograph tours together 😉

  4. Excellent post. Yesterday someone used this search term “skinny old lady smoking cigar” and tad, I had just posted about the cigar lady. But what made them put that search term in?

    If I hear of anyone needing parenting advice for newborns, I’ll send them your way!

  5. I saw that someone used the search term “fran color” to find my site. ???? So I set out to find out why. I keyword all of my images so I can find them on my server. The keywords are part of the IPTC data that rides along with the image. I have shots from San “Fran”cisco in “color” on the site. I tagged it as San Fran Color. Search engines can read that data. If you post an image that has any keywords save to it, they can find it and it shows up in the search.
    Ok I’m done being a nerd / techie.
    JJ

    1. Thanks for the helpful information, John. I need to get better at the keyword thing. I was just reading a blog yesterday that talked about all the opportunities you have to put in keywords for images–title, alt text, caption, and description.

      I don’t think I’ve keyworded any images with the term constipation. 😉

  6. I blog in a bubble. No idea the search words people use to find me. I realized today, after reading you…I think I blog to please myself. This is a tougher admission than one might think. I’ve lived my life to please everyone else, justifying everything I do for the sake of someone else’s pleasure. I brush my teeth so I’m pleasant to talk to…the list I could make!

    I think I’m ready to own my own orgasm, if you know what I mean. I write because I like to. I brush my teeth because I like the feeling of a clean mouth. After reading this…I might even enjoy seeing why people land at my site. Maybe. Just maybe.

    I, too am curious about skinny old cigar smoking ladies and constipated babies. And, of course, how soon the romance will return.

    1. Well I know why I end up at your site. Your comment just reminded me. Beautiful writing and deep reflections always lead to a wash of peace, but an alert kind of peace, not a snoozy one. Can’t get better than that.

  7. I’m jealous – none of my search word terms are that fascinating. My most interesting ones lately:
    “the middle brick lawn chair”
    and “skiinng is hard satire” both of which partially make sense.

  8. Oh Lord, that drawing had me in tears. That is seriously hysterical.
    I always laugh at how much (surely unintentional) traffic I get from the search term “Italian hero,” based on one post I did that discussed the fabulousness of this sandwich. These poor folks are looking for a recipe on Google and end up reading about how Santa was served a sandwich in my house every Christmas Eve.

    1. I remember that post. Maybe you should post the recipe for the Santa sandwich for the lost souls who wander in. I’ve been reliving my Italy trip the past few days, eating fresh mozzarella, capicolla, and tomato with a drizzle of EVOO. Yum. Where’s Santa?

  9. I’ve decided it must be through the images sometimes. For instance, one of the common search terms that lead to me are “apple on desk.” I like watching those, because I get to see how people try to find me. For instance, “writer shadow Jessica” and “Jessica Shaddow mom vest”

  10. Hi Margaret,

    I don’t know why the original visitor was directed to your blog, but I just Googled that search term and you are listed twice (seventh and eleventh).

    I once wrote a post about how people seem more interested in seeing a chicken on a skateboard than reading anything serious. The result? Lots of people visit my blog looking for a chicken on a skateboard. Go figure.

    Ray

    1. Hi Ray,

      Thanks for stopping by. I imagine I’m listed now because I wrote this blog. However, prior to writing it, I googled those search terms and scrolled through tons of pages and my blog wasn’t anywhere to be found.

      The chicken on a skateboard thing is funny. I wonder why anyone would be looking for that. Not that there’s anything wrong with a chicken on a skateboard. How he chooses to spend his free time is his business, right? 😉

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